How To Raise Loving Sisters
What Photographing Sisters Has Taught Me About Raising Sisters
With National Sisters Day just around the corner (August 1st), it’s a great opportunity to put the spotlight on everything-sisters: How to be one, how to raise them, and the importance of capturing this special sister bond in professional photography. This blog covers a recent outdoor photo session with Aimee and Steve Augustine and their five daughters, and the many things I have learned from seeing sister relationships like theirs over the years.
Spotlight: Meet the Augustines
If I were to tell you a story about sisters, I would tell you one about five young ladies named Alex, Ella, Kate, Abby and their youngest sister Mila. These five Augustine sisters are as close as sisters can be, and as different as sisters can be, which is the perfect recipe for a magical family photoshoot.
I’ve had the privilege of capturing their growing family many times over the years. One of my favourites was when they gathered together in my studio for Mila’s newborn session. They bring some incredible magic into their photos with each their own personalities. From chatter to laughter, to sweet moments together, their photos are filled with life and energy! It is such a privilege to see each of them flourishing into their own chosen identities and roles in their family and in the world.
Their parents Aimee and Steve booked this family milestone session outdoors by Lake Ontario so they could capture their family in this season of their lives – everyone has grown up so much while quarantined during the pandemic and they wanted to preserve the memories before any more time passed.
The five Augustine sisters are the inspiration for this blog post, as we talk about raising sisters and capturing the magic that comes with the chaos of family life.
What They Wore:
While sticking to a simple neutral colour palette of whites, beiges and pastels, we wanted to bring in some classic femininity with the wardrobe textures we chose. You can see that we styled:
Mom, Aimee, in an ivory dress with lace motifs
Oldest daughter Alex in a blue floral midi-dress with a gorgeous waterfall hem (high in the front and low in the back)
Ella in a champagne pink sheer dress, with subtle balloon sleeves for an elegant, flowy look
Kate in a pink cotton sundress textured with eyelet print, ruffled edges, and that gorgeous off-the-shoulder flutter sleeve
Abby in an angelic ivory white dress with lace-macrame accents
Mila in a white poplin shirt with ruffled butterfly sleeves for that perfect baby-doll when paired with pink linen shorts
Dad in a simple tee and neutral pants
We mixed and matched their own clothing with pieces from the Reflections studio wardrobe, which is stocked to style your whole family. It was so much fun choosing colours, styles, and designs that would suit each personality perfectly while still creating a cohesive family look.
How They Preserved Their Memories:
It was such a pleasure designing and installing an asymmetrical gallery wall that will soon hang above the Augustine family’s sofa! A family room truly becomes a family room when up-to-date photos are decorating the walls. My clients love being surrounded by reflections of the life they’re living together.
Reflections of a Life [With Five Daughters]:
Before their Image Reveal, parents Aimee and Steve confided in me that they were worried whether there would be any good shots – things had been so chaotic for them that day, and with so many different personalities in their growing family, they wondered if I had been able to get enough material to turn their real-life moments into a cohesive photo collection.
But if mothering four of my own children has made me an expert on any single thing – it’s seeing the magic in the chaos, and preserving it in photos.
Just look at the stunning moments we were able to create together! Needless to say, Aimee, Steve, and their girls were over the moon:
The Beauty of Sisters
It’s so important to me that my clients can come as they are to our photo sessions – knowing that I will take care of them no matter what. Sometimes it’s the scenes of chaos that hold the most profound meaning because they are beautifully, honestly real.
Real-life is where the magic is, and where the story is … not in the pretending, or the acting or the perfectly polished–matching–sweaters–Christmas card photos.
Take it from four of literature’s most favourite sisters, the March girls:
If you’ve read or watched Little Women, some of the most beloved parts of the story are about the chaos of four sisters growing up together – sister squabbles, hard lessons, fashion blunders, failed adventures, personalities clashing and a whole lot of noise (yes, tears, shrieks, and mischief, but also giggles, songs and doting on each other).
From Shakespeare to Jane Austen, to some of my favourite Kristen Hannah novels, sisters are a force to be reckoned with when it comes to powerful storytelling.
Why?
Because there is nothing on earth like having a sister.
“I could never love anyone as I love my sisters.”
Sisters can love each other just as fiercely as they fight; this means that while it can be hard to live with each other sometimes, it’s even harder to live without each other. The same arguments that can cause conflict between sisters can also be invitations for forgiveness, patience, and self-control – some of life’s most important lessons. Sisters can be like mirrors to one another, illuminating the parts of ourselves we love, while also reflecting back to us the parts of ourselves we’d rather just ignore, thank you very much (our tempers, our jealousies, our sensitivities, and our insecurities). I think that’s why sister-tales have survived the centuries – they are roadmaps and testing grounds to help us learn how to thrive in any relationship.
I think the key is creating a safe space for sisters to build each other up as they navigate the complexities of growing up together. A place where no matter how much they might be tempted to compete, or forge ahead on their own paths, they can find a balance between writing their own individual stories while walking arm in arm with their sisters.
The Common Ground Between Raising Sisters, and Photographing Them
Many of the same ways we can create these safe spaces in our homes are also the ways I’ve designed a photography experience to make everyone in your family feel valued, whether you have one child, twins, or five sisters.
My Favourite Advice About Raising Sisters:
I have learned so much from my clients over the years about raising sisters. Motherhood never stops inspiring me.
Here are some things I have learned from you over the years when nurturing strong sister relationships:
Telling Positive Stories: Give your daughters positive vocabulary and stories to shape the way they see their sisters; encourage discussion around what they love about having a sister and affirm them with encouraging words when you see them being kind or thoughtful towards their sisters. (Avoid comparing them or criticizing them, especially in front of each other).
And Also Show Positive Behaviour: Show your daughters what strong female relationships look like with your own sisters, close girlfriends, aunts, mothers, and grandmothers. While there have been many beautiful stories written about female relationships, the media also loves to show women at war with each other, tearing each other down, fighting over men, gossiping about each other – you can leave those toxic stories in the shadows by intentionally modeling healthy, supportive relationships with the women in your lives.
Set Boundaries: Make sure you spend one-on-one time with each child, so they each feel seen and heard by their parents. It’s good for sisters to have opportunities to experience life individually without always feeling like they’re in each other’s shadow or dependent on each other.
And Also Let Them Be: And at the same time, don’t feel you need to structure every minute of the day apart from each other. I’ve seen so many families find their own way of balancing structured time to pursue individual goals, and unstructured time for sisters to “just be.” It’s in these unplanned moments when sisters can develop the strongest bonds – inside jokes, affectionate nicknames, their own traditions, and the kind of pranks that go down in sister history.
Build Shared Histories: Having girls grow up together is wonderful because no matter the differences in personalities, they will all experience similar life situations to some extent. There is nothing like having an older sister who knows exactly what you’re going through because you both know what it’s like to be a woman in this world.
And Also Make Space for Different Perspectives: And of course, while shared memories will sometimes bring sisters together, it’s also important to allow each daughter an opportunity to express their own perspectives on things. Research on perception and memory shows we can remember the same events in totally different ways, so it’s important for everyone to feel like there’s a space for them to express their story.
Build Close Relationships: All of these ways we’ve listed above will help you help your daughters build close relationships with each other. There can be some really intentional ways of doing this, like knowing how to referee the occasional sibling fights are also a way to help your daughters learn how to manage conflict when they’re older and deepen their relationships through conflict.
Let Change Happen: At the same time, it’s easy to walk around with this idealistic vision of what kind of sisters you want your daughters to be. This can be lovely, but we also don’t need to pressure our kids into relationships that don’t suit their needs. It is totally normal for sisters' relationships to grow and change throughout different seasons of their lives. Give them the space they need for their relationships to evolve.
So many of these lessons I’ve gathered over the years from mothering and talking to other mothers require a “both-and” mentality in our parenting – finding ways to open ourselves up to both ways of doing something instead of feeling stuck in an either-or situation. Simply shifting our minds to see the many ways sisters can find their own natural rhythm in their lives together can be a huge help.
Sisters in My Photo Sessions:
I’ve put a lot of thought into the way I conduct our photo sessions together. Since one of the major focuses of my photo session is helping you spend intentional family time together, I want your photography experience to be an extension of the kind of values and goals you have for your children at home.
I’ve taken all the advice I listed above to customize my photo sessions to your family.
This is how I make every sister feel special:
I always have my camera ready for candid moments that happen off-script so that I can capture your family in their natural state (so no one feels over-posed or awkward)
I’ll capture photos of your children as a group and partnered off so they can feel the strong bond they have as a single unit, and the unique bonds they have with each other
I spend one-on-one time photographing each child so they all feel special and seen
I love helping you find outfits in my studio wardrobe that will match the personalities of each of your children
Customizing camera-time to the needs of each child (I’ll never assume that just because one of your children is outgoing, that the others will be too. Some children LOVE their time in front of the camera, and if that’s the case I will help them work it Mama! And other children get really timid as soon as the lens is on them, and when that happens, I am prepared with all kinds of tips and tricks to just help your child feel comfortable in their own skin.)
I LOVE taking photos of mom and dad so that sisters have a chance to bond without the camera on them (and also so they can watch the way their dad looks so adoringly at their mom … a beautiful image they can carry with them in their future relationships!)
I get to know your kids through the years so I can learn the best ways to connect with them and draw out their natural personalities. Some children need soft, kind words, some kids need jokes, and some kids need enthusiastic affirmations – I love helping your daughters and their sisters feel valued for who they are, and the way they experience the world.
The main thing to remember is that I don’t need you to show up acting like a perfectly-trained Von Trapp family (no whistle-calls, marching in a straight line or perfectly choreographed soundtracks).
I want you and your children to come as you are – wild and free as you need to be!
I love how one of my clients put it:
“One of the things we greatly appreciate about Karen is her ability to create a calm and relaxing atmosphere during your sessions. There have been times where we have arrived well-rested and prepared and other times where it felt like we arrived via the hot mess express, but as soon as we all get together, the energy shifts to a comfortable atmosphere where you can really focus on getting some great moments with your family. Some of my favourite photos that Karen has captured for us are so organic in nature where we are just being ourselves and each individual’s personality can be seen.”
Conclusion:
In time for National Sisters Day in 2021, I dedicate this blog to all the sisters I’ve had the privilege of photographing together – including these five Augustine sisters. Watching the way you’ve grown together during this last year of quarantine has been inspiring – leaning on each other, helping each other and caring for one another, these are gifts that will follow you for the rest of your lives.
I can’t wait to capture your family’s sister relationships in photos this year!
My fall calendar has just a few openings left! Book your outdoor sunset sessions before they’re gone!
About This Beautiful Family
Steve & Aimee work together as amazing realtors and they got us our dream home/studio here in Grimsby. He’s also the drummer for the band Thousand Foot Krutch. Together they’re raising FIVE girls.
View Their Finished Artwork
- How they made their house feel more like a home -
If you want to create something beautiful like this for your home and family, message me. I'd love to give you more information on booking a portrait session here at Reflections.
Client Testimonial
We had another wonderful experience working with Karen of Reflections of Life Photography! Karen took care of every detail, making the whole process from planning outfits, to day of preparations and picture selection seamless and stress-free, allowing us to have fun with the kids a create a beautiful memory. Our children also anticipate the fun of having Karen take their pictures! As always, we are overwhelmed with the beautiful moments she captured. Karen truly has a gift and delivers an experience beyond your expectations!
- Aimee Augustine
Hi there!
I’m Karen, a professional, trained photographer in the Niagara Region of Ontario, specializing in maternity, newborn, baby and family portraits. Hundreds of mamas just like you have come to Reflections to capture the stories of their family’s growth.
As a mama of four, I understand the busy-ness of everyday life. I’m here to help you slow down time, even just for a moment, to embrace the beauty of that busy, full life.
