A Mother's Day Letter to You
Glimpses of Motherhood
An Ode to Mother’s Day (During a Pandemic)
It’s Mother’s Day. After another year of COVID-19 where many mothers have felt pushed to their limits like never before, I want us all to promise each other we will celebrate it well this year. Celebrate each other, and celebrate yourself. Why? Because Mama, we all need a hot minute to catch our breaths, find ourselves and bask in the reasons we actually love being mothers. Read on to find ideas for celebrating yourself this Mother’s Day, along with some of my favourite authors, resources, quotes and a blessing to send you off.
Another Mother’s Day in Quarantine
Your role as “Mom” became a crowded roster of other identities over the last year – home school educator, immunity-protector, chief sanitizing officer, screen-time moderator, boredom preventers … on top of the usual, you know: personal chef, professional administrator, chauffeur, etc.
It’s been a lot. Over 400 days of it, and counting.
Mothering during a global pandemic has often left our brains flip-flopping between judging ourselves, and trying to prove to ourselves that we’re doing enough during this season.
This mental tennis match is exhausting, and my friend, you deserve a break.
Mother’s Day can be full of a lot of emotions in “normal times” but now after the kind of year we’ve had? When motherhood has so often felt terrifying, frustrating and exasperating?
Some of the wisest women in my life have taught me this: the happiest Mother’s Days will be the ones where you give yourself the attention, kindness and celebration you deserve.
Being celebrated, seen, and acknowledged by others is important. I hope your husband buys you pretty flowers and your children make you a hilariously messy breakfast in bed. It’s a beautiful thing.
But, no matter how well your family treats you on Mother’s Day, that feeling can wear off pretty quickly, or maybe even leave you feeling a little empty if you aren’t using this day to acknowledge yourself.
Let’s create a day where we can take time to truly see ourselves. To tune into our inner voice and listen to what she’s trying to tell us. To celebrate ourselves and the ways we have shown up for our family in immeasurable ways – every. single. day.
“...now that I am a mother, I understand what Mother’s Day is about: it’s about looking through our lives and recognizing the act of mothering everywhere we see it, and more than that, recognizing that when any of us mother— when we listen, nurture, nourish, protect—we’re doing sacred work.”
How to love yourself well on mother’s day
This year, I encourage you to use another quarantined Mother’s Day as an opportunity to get quiet, reflect on your experience of motherhood this last year, and nourish your soul.
Nostalgia: Pull out photos from throughout your life and watch yourself become a mother again for the first time. Go back to a time before you had kids. Find different times along that journey and connect with that version of yourself. Remember that there was a “you” before you were “Mom.” Find her. Tell her all the things you love about her. Tell her all the things she doesn’t know yet. Tell her all the things she has to look forward to, and how completely beautiful and messy motherhood is.
Self-Compassion: Tell yourself nice things. It’s too easy to spend your days judging yourself when the truth is, there is a little girl inside all of us who just needs some tenderness. Let’s show ourselves some love in really gentle ways on Mother’s Day so we can mark that as a start of a new story in our head. A new story where we can show our children the joy of loving ourselves. I want you to write down 10 things you love about yourself, and 10 things you love about yourself as a mother.
Action: What is your absolute favourite part of being a mother? Whatever that is, do that thing today. Try to bring some element of that thing into a part of your Mother’s Day so you can fall back in love with that role again, and remind yourself how to get back there on the bad days.
Indulgence: Take a really luxurious bath. I’m talking bath salts, bubbles, flower petals, candles and a glass of something bubbly. I know a bath doesn’t solve all your problems, but hot water and Epsom salts can work wonders on your tired bones. Especially if it’s a stay-at-home kind of day, lock the bathroom door, fill up that bathtub, put on some music and soak it all in.
Love: Send some love to the other moms in your life. We all need empathy and understanding from each other. Remember that some of your friends are good at telling you when things aren’t okay, and some of your friends go silent when things aren’t okay. Reach out and tell them they’re doing an amazing job this year, that you see them doing their best and you’re in it with them.
Are you already feeling guilty about taking time to do these things? Let’s put our “Mom Guilt” aside and remember that when our children watch us enjoying life, when they see us doing kind things for ourselves and taking care of ourselves, they internalize those messages too. It’s actually good for our kids to see us doing things that are good for ourselves.
After a fun cake smash at first-year milestone sessions, I have a little bath tub for Mom to wash Baby off in! Damon was not a fan of being inside the tub, but we rolled with it and got some swoonworthy shots of him and Kimberly splashing water and bubbles from outside. (Plus it made for some adorable baby bum shots!)
How about a cute little Mother’s Day playlist for your bubble bath?
Mother - Kacey Musgraves
I See Gold - The Good Lovelies
Cover Me in Sunshine - P!nk and Willow Sage Hart
In My Daughter’s Eyes - Martina McBride
Blue (feat. Blue Ivy) - Beyoncé, Blue Ivy
Wish for You - Faith Hill
The Best Day - Taylor Swift
Sweetest Devotion - Adele
Happy Mother’s Day - Gillian Welch
The Mother - Brandi Carlile
Superwoman - Alicia Keys
93 Million Miles – Jason Mraz
Meanwhile Back at Mama’s – Tim McGraw
Her - Anne-Marie
Mother - Sugarland
Close Your Eyes - Michael Bublé
Mama Said - The Shirelles
A Mother Like You - JJ Heller
Look Up Child - Lauren Daigle
Mother’s Day - Kellie Pickler
Mamma’s Kitchen - CeCe Winans
Watch You Be A Mother - Jonny Diaz
How Motherhood Changes You:
I love the way Ashlee Gadd talks about change during motherhood in her book, The Magic of Motherhood:
“You will be different. You will see parts of yourself that are unrecognizable, brought to the surface only by the sheer fact that another human is suddenly dependent on you for everything.”
Motherhood changed me. Motherhood will change you. Besides the actual scientific proof that being a mom literally changes your brain, motherhood also changes your mind. It changes your mind about a lot of things actually: your priorities, about what is acceptable to wear to the grocery store, about bedtime, nutrition, mini-vans, what you want your house to look like, and about motherhood itself.
All this internal change? We see it on our bodies too. Sometimes, we look in the mirror and we don’t recognize our reflections. It’s why I and so many of my clients love following the work of Sarah Nicole Landry as she helps us all fall deeply, authentically in love with our bodies, with motherhood and with ourselves. In all of this change, it’s hard to reinvent yourself without totally losing what makes you, you. Your connection with your children is soul-deep and sacred and so is your relationship to yourself.
There is a season of my life I don’t remember; I brought my fourth baby home from the hospital and fell into a blur of motherhood, caretaking, nurturing, soothing – all for my children, never for myself. This experience was actually my motivation for starting Reflections of Life Photography. I wanted to create art and photography experiences that helped women feel seen, loved, taken care of … and mothered. That’s why I don’t just offer photography services, I offer you wardrobe, makeup, and hair stylists so you can feel beautiful in front of the camera, without the stress of doing it all yourself. I provide and coordinate wardrobe for your whole family, and I’ll even come to your home to install the photo galleries after your photos are printed. I want you to enjoy having photos and feel taken care of when you’re having your photography done.
Perhaps what so many of us end up doing for others are the things we secretly wish someone had done for us in that stage. I think that brings extra love to it because we can heal ourselves while we heal others as well.
There are a lot of ways I learned to find my way back to myself over the years. Truthfully, I think finding ourselves is a lifelong journey, but these are some things that have helped me along the way.
These are things I pray you can bring into your life:
Be mothered. Whether it’s your mom, grandma, aunt, mentor or your friends, let them mother you. There will come a day when you can be the one helping someone else, I promise. But when you’re in the thick of it, please, don’t try to do motherhood alone. Ask for help. Receive help when it is offered to you. Don’t judge yourself for needing help, we were never supposed to do this on our own. For some of us, this is the hardest thing. And for others of us, tending to ourselves and mothering ourselves is the hardest part, as it gets ridden with guilt or shame. I think being a mother is an incredible opportunity to learn how to offer ourselves maternal care.
Find an outlet. It’s probably not a shocker that my outlet has been photography for a long time. It’s the way I clear my mind, and the way I refresh myself with new inspiration. But we all need our outlet, whether it’s creative (painting, dance, pottery, crocheting, etc.) or wellness-oriented (meditation, running, yoga, prayer, working out, etc.) you’ll know you’ve found “your thing” when it fits naturally into your life, when it doesn’t require you to become someone else in order to fit in, and when it helps you feel like you have a voice again.
Find a community of others. Find your women. Find them at church, or while dropping your kids off at school or join a mom’s group. However you do it, just promise me this: you will all make a pact to support each other along your unique journeys. A community isn’t a group of people who judge each other’s parenting choices – it’s a group of friends who respect each other's decisions because you know you are different people, with different children who all need different things. This will set a really great example for your children too, watching Mommy have fun with friends, establish healthy boundaries and speak well of other moms and children.
Don’t forget to treat yourself this Mother’s Day!
I love baking little cakes for my first-birthday milestone sessions. It’s so fun to watch every child approach it differently – some digging right in, some approaching it hesitantly, and some getting head-to toe covered in cake!
My treat to myself every Mother’s Day is reading. The best way I can make myself feel seen, heard and understood is through the beautiful words of some of my favourite authors. I spent much of this year’s pandemic finding solace, inspiration, and love for myself in the words of Kristin Hannah’s books.
“As mothers and daughters, we are connected with one another. My mother is the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and true. She is my blood, making sure it runs rich and strong. She is the beating of my heart. I cannot now imagine a life without her.”
Conclusion:
One of my main goals as a Niagara family, maternity and newborn photographer is to help mothers feel seen in an often invisible, thankless job. Start to see yourself again this Mother’s Day; build in some time for yourself so you can connect with yourself again and redefine what motherhood means to you after getting through this past year.
Can I leave you with a blessing?
My Love Letter to You, Mama:
Hi Beautiful,
I see you. I see you doing your absolute best. Even if you’re still in your pajama pants right now. Or the same clothes you wore yesterday. And don’t worry I am not judging your messy bun right now. You are amazing.
“But it’s not even the cute kind of messy bun,” I can imagine you saying with tears in your eyes.
“I know it might not feel that way,” I would say to you, “But I don’t see a messy bun. I see a mother who jumped right out of bed to answer the cry of her baby, or play hide and seek with her toddler.”
Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to be everything for everyone. If your hair wasn’t a priority today, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If you used that time to sleep a few extra minutes or to read a book to your toddler or go for a walk, I am so proud of you.
There will be a day where your hair will be clean again. Someone will brush it and style it and you’ll smell like a New York City salon. You’ll have makeup on, and feel pretty in a long flowy dress. But today, you get to be messy. Beautifully, wonderfully messy, with a trail of toys on the floor, and chipping nail polish, and kids in miss-matched clothing, maybe even Halloween costumes in the middle of June. And it will be utterly strange and glorious, even though it looks nothing like the house you saw in the magazine on your coffee table. It might someday, but it’s okay if today is not that day. You’re living, you’re sparking life in your children, you’re finding joy in every little moment you can and one day you will look back at this day and smile because you chose to be present in the middle of it.
If I can leave you with one last reminder about your motherhood journey, it’s this:
No matter how badly we crave perfection, in ourselves, in our children, in our homes, in our marriages – we were never meant to hold ourselves to that standard. In fact, like I’ve said before when it comes to motherhood, the imperfect is more beautiful than the perfect.”
Hold on to your “why”, remember that you are already good enough, and you will write a beautiful story of motherhood for yourself and your children.
A Few More Moments from Our Photo Session:
About This Beautiful Family
It was an honour to spend time with proud parents Kimberly and Adam and their two boys Emmett and Damon. I had the privilege of documenting Emmett’s first birthday photo session several years ago, so it was so fun to see him be Damon’s big brother at this photo session!
Family Wall Design
You can also tell your family’s story with a wall gallery like this. We can design it with a combination of maternity, newborn, six-month, and one-year portraits. If you want to create something beautiful like this for your home and family, message me. I'd love to give you more information on booking a portrait session here at Reflections of Life.
Client Testimonial
"Karen did an amazing job with our images. Karen was his first photographer when he was first born. When we arrived my son didn't want to get photographed by himself right away, so we quickly moved to doing family pictures while he was comfortable. Later moving back to solo photographs once he became comfortable with his surroundings. She really takes her time with everyone to get the best image possible of everyone. You can really feel the love through the images." - Kimberley Young
If you’re expecting a new baby, connect with me. I highly recommend that you book your portrait session in advance to save your spot. 😊
Want to shop the studio wardrobe?
Hi there, I'm Karen! I am obsessed with newborn baby yawns, giggling kids, and jumpsuits. I'm a mama of four who understands the busyness of everyday life. I've learned to love and enjoy it through lifestyle photography. I know what it’s like to look back on my children’s first years and feel like they flew by so quickly. I don’t want any other mamas to forget what their baby’s little fingers and toes looked like all curled up. My hope is that I can help you create albums and prints to serve as physical reminders of these sweet times throughout your baby’s early years. Contact me for info.
